Viva la $5 Footlong: From Profit to the Proletariat!

Without corporate America, perhaps the single greatest catalyst of our wealth, power, and quality of life, this country would undoubtedly be an impoverished shell of itself. Big business accounts for a majority of hiring, building, and philanthropy in the United States. Countless public institutions and organizations – academic, medical, athletic, and the arts – are either founded or sustained through corporate donations. Furthermore, a number of these entities have and continued to pioneer innovations that transcend the world: from life saving treatments, to alternative energy research and everyday information solutions. If I may, what country’s “capitalist marauders” invented electricity, the telegraph, the telephone, the airplane, the automobile, the personal computer and made them available to individuals across the globe? That’s right; those evil, profit seeking corporations. Without their resources, their humanitarian and entrepreneurial spirit to push the boundaries of technological and cultural advancement, the world would indeed be a much darker place. Thank God for those energy saving light bulbs. Demagoguery loves the dark!

And what of duty, patriotism to you and me, but TAXES to the soldiers of statism? Why are liberals so obsessed with taxes? Simple…CONTROL! They want more social programs, more handouts, more unabridged power. Yes, so much for the priceless institutions of pride and accountability. Not to rain on the left’s propaganda parade, but corporations pay 70% of all taxes in this country; hardly a paltry figure. Likewise, a majority of these firms pay at a 49% clip: a 40% flat corporate tax and a 9% dividend tax. That’s nearly 50% of your profits turned over to the powers that be! Sound fair? *crickets* Without a doubt these firms are either directly or indirectly responsible for a bulk of sales generated and salaries paid in America, as well as a major source of revenue collected by Uncle Sam. If the business of America is business, which it is, they represent the heartbeat of our progress and the anti-thesis of the socialist agenda. Bernie Sanders is not leading a revolution of any kind. He’s pledging to finish the job Obama started; i.e., destroying America. “Greedy” corporations pay roughly 70% of all taxes annually while 45% of Americans paid no income tax at all last year. ‘Fair share’ obviously means ‘free share’ in the socialist bread lines of discontent.

Not to assuage the hand of contrarianism – those extreme cases used to paint the entire lot with hyperbole – but do corporations get tax breaks and specialized treatment? Of course some do; just ask GE, Obama’s biggest commercial donor in 2008. Or how about those lucrative contracts awarded to congressional home districts? It is definitely not unheard of for companies to be given special breaks by our local, state and federal government. These trade-offs are simply a proven method to lure corporations – the economic growth these companies provide to a community in terms of jobs and disposable income – with tax abatements, land grants, and zoning privileges. That’s what helps to keep them solvent and growing. Is it always right? Of course not! In fact, sometimes it’s downright robbery. But then again, what do critics say when they leave America for more profitable pastures? Regardless of the numbers, commonality or sensational exceptions, we’re missing the ultimate equalizer: politicians. Our elected officials – those elected by these same socialist activists – are the ones who write the tax codes and grant special privileges in exchange for benefits. So if corporations, even under the worse case scenario, are operating within the law, how does that make them the enemy? It doesn’t. It makes their accusers ignorant. Perhaps progressives should protest the exorbitant salaries and tax loopholes enjoyed by their numerous celebrity supporters. What’s the going cost of a game, a concert, or a movie again? Darn those greedy celebrities!

But what about all that profiteering; price gouging the common man to the point of poverty? From regulatory committee’s to fair competition acts – anti-collusion statues – there is a plethora of federal and state checks on today’s corporations. And if there is a shortcoming that needs to be addressed, such as in the case of Enron, Congress and the courts are readily available to meet the challenge. Once again, “We The People” hold the ultimate trump card. If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. If you disagree with a company’s practices, don’t work for them or buy there stock! With the exception of a few products, consumers set the bar as far as demand. Without you’re financial support, these car, clothing, and phone companies wouldn’t exist. And if you’re really determined, you can always start your own company and redefine the industry. People do it everyday. No, really, they do. Apple, anyone? All you need is a garage! Just remember, for every one business that succeeds, another 10 fail. Risk…work…reward.

The bottom line is that America is predicated on freedom, self reliance, and accountability. The Government, at its most rudimentary level, has two functions: to protect our liberties, this country’s sovereignty, and to provide transparency, accountability, in all its dealings. Every man and woman, regardless of their heritage, beliefs or class, is entitled to make a living without unnecessary government intrusion. Whether you’re an ordinary citizen or a multinational corporation, as long as you obey the law you are completely within your rights to pursue the American dream: whether  you seek riches, a quaint house on the corner or dedicate your life to the poor, is a moot point.

“Wait, you haven’t even mentioned despicable slave wages that are dictated to helpless workers!” Hmm, do I even have to say it? I could list a mountain of legislation and oversight committees that are dedicated to procuring safe working conditions and fair compensation, but I won’t. It’s a jungle out there. Modern America is but a shadow of the egregious conditions that dominated the Industrial Revolution. Just ask Upton Sinclair. Today, workers’ salaries and benefits are at their zenith. Even at the lower spectrum of the corporate ladder, McDonald’s employees can receive health care and Walmart employees are offered stock options. Does your local convenience store or favorite family owned restaurant offer such amenities? Do you really believe local businesses don’t do everything in their power to make a buck? Sure we could pay menial labor $15 an hour, pretend minimum wage wasn’t intended for unskilled workers or students looking to make extra pocket change, but what good is a $5 sub when you have to go to Mexico to get it? How many slices of ham are on that Congressional bill?

While we are on the subject of compensation, are you privy to what the United Auto Workers make? How about the Teamsters? Who’s transporting that dynamo product of ingenuity you adore to the marketplace? The executives of these “righteous” unions, just like their corporate counterparts, make a very pretty penny. Any surprise these CAPITALISTS have conveniently joined the ‘woe is me’ gravy train? Mob rule means more union dues, higher salary demands. The oppressed proletariat smells money; MO’ money. Yes, don’t be a fooled by the incessant glare of idealism, for they too work the system. How else can an average Joe start at $40 an hour with full benefits and a retirement plan? There are many reasons why a string of firms are going bankrupt, or are on the brink of foreclosure. Everybody wants theirs, even at the price of failure. Yes, cutting off your nose to spite your face is still hip; especially if you’re a socialist drinking Starbucks decrying economic inequality. It’s OK to spill the beans when your resume is as lonely as Bernie Sanders’ work history. Next time try including a mug shot to add a little intrigue or higher salary demands. Only then will the Revolution be televised…on Univision! Viva la Netflix stock!



About The Conservative Depot

The Conservative Depot, the official literary artillery of Sir Silence Dogood, is dedicated to defending & promoting the timeless conservative ideals America was founded upon: individual liberty, limited government, God, hard work, accountability and duty. In the growing fog of progressive propaganda - class, race, gender & religious warfare - we're arming America with the truth because common sense never killed anyone!
This entry was posted in Bernie Sanders, Capitalism, Donald Trump, Economy, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Viva la $5 Footlong: From Profit to the Proletariat!

  1. I will say this, the rich people, have generally worked incredibly hard for their success. The provide humanity with a great service generally. It’s not up to the government to come and raid them of their money, they earned it

    Liked by 1 person

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