Dear Kathy Griffin…
You are by no means a victim. You’re not even worthy of sympathy in the most liberal sense of the word. You’re a bitter, morally bankrupt narcissist who CHOSE to do a photo shoot that featured yourself holding the bloody, decapitated head of the President of the United States. And yet somehow you’re being treated unfairly? You never once thought it was wildly inappropriate, let alone a punishable crime? The entire world, including impressionable children and the traumatized son of Donald Trump, witnessed your smug display of blind hatred. Maybe I’m just hopelessly old fashioned but the unconscionable thought of someone holding my father’s severed head, or anyone’s for that matter, never struck me as humorous or particularly worthy of a selfie. Do you even care the surviving families of actual terrorist beheadings were horrified by your callous disregard for their incessant suffering? You’ve built a career on profane, tasteless commentary and now you’re angry because you’re finally being held accountable for your own soulless stupidity? I don’t feel sorry for you. I don’t care if you go broke and are rejected by every entertainment medium; which I’m sure will never happen in the socially regressive cesspool of modern progressivism. Excuse my common sense, but not everything is a joke and there wasn’t anything remotely funny about your vile behavior; regardless of your whining political discontent. You’re a grown woman, fully cognizant of your own actions, and in the real world those decisions have consequences: yes, even choices made by non-homicidal children with voices much less annoying than yours. Just because civilized society has definable standards, basic human decency and an emotional IQ greater than your braille rectal thermometer, doesn’t mean they have to apologize or support your obscene excuse of a life. The next time you feel unappreciated or identify as the wrongful victim of social outrage, try looking in the mirror to discover the single greatest source of all your ills. No amount of money is worth a good head on your shoulders; especially when it has never seen the light of day.
Your Unborn Proctologist